This site is not even 3 months old, and we have managed 100 posts so far and May is not quite over just yet. Means that we have been posting on average of just over 1 news item per day, and my backlog of content is still quite long with no sign of letting up. Every week we get about 5 or 6 new sources of swingers and lifestyle items that need to be researched and posted on the site. To give you and example of the work involved, we spend at a minimum of 1 hour researching each and every source of news posted on this site. Just to make sure we’ve covered all the angles and found any all other sources of the same story so you can get a full picture of each story.

Want a basic rundown on how to use this site? (more…)

Meet Gin Hetrick, lifestyle and relationship coach, author and lifestyle columnist for several years now. She wrote an interesting article about being a single male wanting to join the lifestyle which I will include below. In this article she also mentions her new book, “In the swing of things” which is for some strange reason actually not currently available on her website as claimed. When you visit the Gins Opinion website, be prepared for amateur looking pages created sometime in the heyday of Internet site making of the late 90’s. The section ‘My thoughts’ is well worth the visit as it contains some good content but when you visit the ‘my books’ section, there is actually only one book available for sale: How to prepare for the lifestyle. I searched in vain for other sites selling this book, for reviews and nothing could be found which suggests sales have probably been non-existent considering the high price tag. Finally, a visit the the links page has dead links and banners and the copyright notice dates back at least 3 years ago. As usual, a great idea gone by the way-side…it’s too bad so many great minds give up on their projects and let them become stale.

Click here to read the promised article: (more…)

You can find a 32 page Adobe Acrobat (PDF) document on the Morality in media website entitled: Swingers Club Case Law Study. The case study is part of their side project, The National Obscenity Law Center. If you are a club owner and are currently fighting in court or interested in more details about this project and other documents they have available, you can visit their page specifically setup for Laws on Sexually Oriented Businesses.

Although Dear Deidre says that swapping may be saucy but it can also ruin a relationship. In her article published in the Sun, Swinging and swapping, she mostly tells it like it is. But there are several areas that we disagree with, such as the man wanting to join the lifestyle more than the woman. While that is true, she fails to mention part II of this well known fact…it’s almost always the woman that keeps the couple in the lifestyle after joining. Also, is it not possible that couples can have hyper sex drives and want the company of other couples with like minds without actually having a problem as Deidre would suggest? Finally, yes it’s true that your lover might fall for another person if you engage in swapping activities, but one thing we can tell you from experience is that personally, swapping has showed us that we truly do want to be with each other and there is not much that another person can offer that you most likely don’t already have or can get. Just remember, no matter how hot that person is that you think you are having feelings for, somebody, somewhere is tired of putting up with their shit!

When we grow up, we want to be just like JanesGuide. The Maple Swingers website is a labour of love since being a computer geek and webmaster is what I do for a day job. Since designing for the web in the mid 90s we’ve seen many sites badly designed and some just pure terrible. It’s a nice refresher to enter The JanesGuide website and find that it is well designed, easy on the eyes, perfect navigation and so many features it would be impossible to name them all here. But to list a few, sex toy reviews, book reviews, regional listings, tips, picks and of course the main reason for this sites existence, adult web site reviews. If you search for the words ’swingers’ or ’swinging’ you will find a small selection of related sites. The featured artists section is not to be missed. Not convinced yet, their tag line says it all: “We waste our time so you don’t have to!”.

If you are old enough to remember seeing movies in school on the projector you’ll get an extra kick out of this video. It’s well done in my opinion and a great introductory primer to getting into the lifestyle. As the video says: “it’s so easy even a monkey could do it”…lol ! They used to have a nicely done website but as usual, the link farms have gobbled it up and now the site is no longer online. It’s too bad, the site was really nice and especially the FAQ section. All jokes aside, this video is a great primer for anyone looking to get into swinging, and even if you have been for a while, you’ll get some good chuckles at how well they go over the ‘basics’.

We have been members fof AFF (Adult Friend Finder) for several years, and in that time have been gold, then silver, then standard and now we’ve earned enough in that time for 1 free month of gold membership. While it is still fresh in my mind, here are the big differences in memberships based on my experience on using this site:

Standard: Can surf the site and view profiles of those that have paid for ’standard can contact’. You can earn standard member popularity privileges. If a certain number of members view your profile within a three day period, you’ll automatically be given access to any fifty member profiles and email privileges to them as well. You are limited to seeing only the main profile pic and it will be a tiny view at that. You can’t wink or send emails unless the ‘paid’ member has chosen to pay for standard members to contact them or you have earned the right as described above. You can however reply to emails you receive. Emails are saved in your mailbox for 30 days and then automatically deleted. Can only view 1 webcam window at a time. Technical support by email within 2 days.

Silver: Can do everything a standard can plus has the ability to (more…)

Earlier this year (January 25, 2008), Dr. Phil had an episode where he discussed the topic of swingers and had guests on his show as well. I was not able to see the episode when it originally ran, but the wife did and was not very impressed, as a matter of fact she said it was not very good at all. Here’s the blurb for the swinger episode taken from Dr. Phil’s website:

The episode is called: Secrets in the Suburbs

How well do you know your neighbors, your friends or even your child’s teacher? An estimated four to eight million people in North America are swinging in the suburbs — mostly middle-class folks from all walks of life. Dr. Phil takes you inside the secret world of swingers, a lifestyle where couples swap partners.

Lifestyle Lovers
Nita and Walter have been swinging for the last 12 years. They say they are happy in their lifestyle, although it causes conflict. What is the source of tension in their relationship?

Reluctant Swinger
Brent has an overwhelming desire to have a threesome with his wife, Renee, and thinks about it every other day. Renee says threesomes are disgusting, but she fears if she refuses to join in, her husband will leave her.

Other Perspectives
Suzi Parker, author of Sex in the South: Unbuckling the Bible Belt, and Dr. Phil viewers share their opinions about the swinging lifestyle.

Gentle reminders for all you responsible adults out there…condoms are not just for single people, they apply to swingers as well. And what better brand to go visit a website than Lifestyles condoms. Nice looking site, clean, good information including free downloadsas well as some good tips and advice. For example, Sexy Fact #7, is a Hot tub alert! “Condoms may not be as effective in the tub. Water dissolves the spermicide and makes the condom easier to slide off”. If you need information about STD’s and general health and wellness, this site is for you as well. As a great bonus to health and / or sex educators, they have an entire section devoted to helping out. Overall a great visit and even if you don’t use Lifestyle condoms yourself, you are bound to learn something new.

I’m not a big believer in astronomy when it comes to predictions and such, but take me up on an alien ship and now you’ve got me interested! All this to say that I fell upon this site more for the content of an advice column about an ex-swinger having a hard time letting go than an interest in astrology. First of all, the question is really good and she gives out enough examples to let us in on this little secret world of his. Everyone has their views but I think it’s safe to assume that he is indeed taking the long road to slowly converting the new girlfriend into the lifestyle. One point of interest is the comment that he would eventually have his cake and eat it too. If this lady took the time to look into the lifestyle and understand what we all know to be true, she would have no time for cake! Swinging or couple swapping is about enjoyment for both partners but I didn’t post this to get up on the soapbox so I’ll leave it at that. The comments following the advice are interesting as well and nobody really talks negatively about swingers or the lifestyle, instead they just point out the obvious…he still wants to swing!

Get Local! Let people know you are going out for the night. I’ve heard that many AdultFriendFinder (AFF) groups use the ‘local’ feature quite succesfully so I thought I would share with all of you what I discovered. There is a great feature built into this site that allows all of us to let each other know when we are going to be out and where we are going.

It’s the little tab at the top of the site called: ‘Get Local’ - click on this tab and you will see a map of your local region. Right below the map is a section called ‘Local Adult Directory’. The first thing you will notice is that there are categories and they can be mostly bare depending on where in the world you live. I would like to invite everyone to submit missing bars, clubs, stores and so on to the directory…it’s the only way to keep it up to date. Also, even more important is to go and add your review of the places you are familiar with…reviews are a great way to help others find out about a place from actual customers - you!

Okay, so how do we keep in touch? For this example, I’m going to use the (more…)

This is the best place to go discuss swinger related and non related ideas on the internet by far! We’ve been to other discussion boards, and if you read our Maple Story you will know that we run a top 5 discussion board on AFF already. Discussions, blogs, pictures, stories, reviews, clubs, advice, chat, classified ads and so much more! Lisa, the site’s hostess runs this as a one woman show and does a mighty fine job at it. We’ve been members for a couple years now and altough we do more reading than posting, a visit is never a waste of time since there is much more information here than a person can possibly get in a single visit. Creating an account is and always has been free so go register, post an introduction and let them know that Mapleswingers.com sent you.

Different is a good way to start describing this group of sexually aware religious folk. Altough my better half is from a different religious background, neither of us has ever felt that swinging was a religious no-no and from what this site has to offer, it seems we are not alone. It appears that the main focus is on polyamory as well as worshiping the sybian, however they do have a nice section on swinging. There is lots of reading to do as well as a forum to visit, so well worth the bookmark if your into being sexually and religiously aware.

I almost jumped out of my seat when I saw a profile online that I hadn’t seen well in a long time as they were the first couple we ever met and almost became the last. Let’s just say these people were of the “were gonna try to save our marriage” flavour of couple you can encounter online. To cut to the chase…one of the issues ’she’ had was a no kissing rule as that was ‘personal’ and to be saved only for her husband?!?

My disclaimer before I continue is that I don’t know enough of you in this group and well I’m sure there are probably some non-kissers here as well and hoping to hear from you. Why am I bringing this up today? Well, mostly because I enjoy stirring the pot but also out of curiosity since the non-kissers seem to be a very small minority in the community…well in our experience anyway and were kinda green still!

Yes, I talk a lot…come camping with us and you’ll hear more of my stories lol! One last thing before I go, want to share our take on the kissing issue to get the discussion started:

When someone says I won’t kiss you…only my partner, it makes me feel like I should be paid to be here cause I was just insulted. Insulted how? Well, in my close minded world, it seems prostitutes don’t kiss either as they save that for their special someone. Which sorta kinda makes sense. Now back to swinging…you are going to have sex with me but you don’t want to kiss me? I’m no prostitute! I certainly hope you are in my company because you are attracted to me and you do have feelings for me…hopefully sexual feelings, but feelings none the less.

I’m french you know and well we are kinda known for our special kisses and fries with gravy and cheese on them. So, why is it that you don’t want to kiss me again?

Now that we’ve been in the lifestyle for a couple years, there are issues and situations that used to freak us out…and now we laugh at how we reacted. During our trip to Hedo for example, many couples sat with us over drinks just picking our brains about ‘the lifestyle’ and most had the same reaction…swingers are not just sex starved maniacs (well some of us are lol)!

Here are some basic common sense DO’s and DONT’s to get you started:

DO:
Communicate , Be Honest, Give a good description of who you are and what you are looking for, Set limits and stick to them, Use Protection, Try new things, Move at your own pace, Respond even if it’s to say “no thanks”, Beware of picture collectors, Have Fun, Make New Friends, Be Discreet (what happens never happened), one last important point: communicate !

DON’T:
Don’t Be Vague about what you are looking for; Don’t Lie about who you are; Don’t Say you are a single guy when you are in fact married; Don’t Cheat; Don’t Lie; Don’t cross other people’s limits; Don’t answer ads that don’t apply to you; Don’t SHOUT (turn off your caps lock); Don’t give out your phone # in your ad; Don’t go out with set expectations; Don’t leave the house if you aren’t “ready” !

We’ve started playing this game with another couple we used to hang out with a while back. They were the first out of town couple we met and even though trips out of town weren’t as often as we’d like, we took turns and came up with this basic set of overnight etiquette rules:

-The host pays for the babysitter and pizza if plans include going out for the night.

-Kids must follow the rules where they are at to avoid parental issues. For example, at our house all the kids stay at the dinner table until every kid is done eating…when your kids visit, we expect them to follow this rule as well.

-Now that you are in the lifestyle, you should always have a small over-night bag in your car just in case (a) you’ve had too much to drink and you should sleep it off before driving or (b) you’ve too much fun and you should lay down in my bed for a while before leaving…lol!

-Overnight bag content suggestions: condoms, lube, contact solution, medication (aspirin, viagra, allergy and such…), candy/mints/gum and a power bar for those long nights. Don’t forget your ‘adult toys’ and the kids blankie!!!

-If the kids are playing video games, then everyone must play (multi-player games only) or taking turns otherwise nobody plays any games.

-Pets are family members too so make sure to discuss with the host if they have a pet in case there are allergies in your family. Also, if you wish to bring your pet, make arrangements first.

-Hosts, be sure to have a variety of toiletries available to your guest. Make handy a bundle of towels enough for each person. Supply robes (if possible) if you are having a hot tub party.

Now that you know how to play the game…do you have more rules to add to the list?

We have been in the lifestyle for several years now and this article would have been a great read when we first started out. Written from the perspective of a Slave, it still very much applies to regular lifestyle swingers. The sub/dom is not our scene but there are so many different fetishes out there that it’s nice to know that at least some BSDM groups are very similar in thinking than a regular couple swapping swinging couple.

As history has proven over and over again, the stereotype of swingers having sex everywhere all the time isn’t going away anytime soon. A great example of this appeared online recently as a comment in passing where swingers are mentioned. The Editor-in-chief for the University of the pacific student newspaper mentions swingers in her article about STD’s. It proves yet again that even young people, who are supposed to be educated, but lack any understanding of “the lifestyle” that they also will continue propagating the stereotypes about swinging and swingers in general. Here is the quote where swingers are mentioned: “Unless you are at a swinger’s party, the subject (STD’s) probably shouldn’t come up within five minutes of exchanging names.” read the rest of the story here: The Pacifican.

This is the first post for the new site Maple Swingers. I have several dozen topics to upload to the site once I get the configuration, layouts and colours all pretty and everything. What you will find here in future is anything related to the swinging lifestyle such as: news, articles, reviews, comments, pictures, videos, toys, shopping, classifieds, websites and all things related to the lifestyle in general.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me about your lifestyle related content and I will do my best to post about it here.