Apr 252008

There are many sites offering quotes as well as notepads, calendars, posters and the list goes on and on. For website owners there are even random quote generators available for displaying on any page of a site. We’ve been gathering some of the best sexy quotes we could find that could apply to swingers. Just keep in mind these weren’t written specifically for the lifestyle, but applied at the right moment, during the right conversation, you could get some good laughs or even good sex! We start by presenting a Maple Swingers sex quote original: “Not interested in meeting us? I guess they are not taking applications for friends with benefits at this time” -Maple Swingers

  • “If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?” -Bette Midler
  • “The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.”
  • “I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.” -Woody Allen
  • “No one has ever died from an overdose of pornography.” -J. Money and P. Tucker
  • “I have brains and a uterus, and I use both.” -Pat Schroeder
  • “Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself.”
  • “Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.”
  • “I love sex. It’s free and doesn’t require special shoes.”
  • “Housework is like bad sex. Every time I do it I swear I will never do it again. Until the next time company comes.” -Marilyn Sokol
  • “The only difference between friends and lovers is about four minutes.” -Scott Roeben
  • “I’ve tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic and the others give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.” -Tallulah Bankhead
  • “The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 a.m.” -Charles Pierce
  • “The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.” -Gloria Leonard
  • “Some mornings, it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps.” -Emo Phillips
  • “He who asks is a fool for 5 minutes, but he who does not remains a fool forever.” -Chinese Proverb
  • “The penis mightier than the sword.” -Mark Twain
  • “If you smoke after sex, you’re doing it too fast.”
  •  ”The art of life lies in taking pleasures as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are they always moral.” -Aristippus
  • “Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.” -William Shakespeare
  • “Sex is like a bridge game; if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.”
  • “Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don’t play with the squirrels, they bite.”
  • “I’d like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they’re working on now.”
  • “Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it’s pretty damned good.” -Woody Allen
  • “I’m a practicing heterosexual, but bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.” -Woody Allen
  • “When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.” -Matt Groening
  • “There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should draw the line at goats.” -Elton John
  • “Flirting is the act of making a man feel pleased with himself.” -Helen Rowland
  • “To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you’re impotent. She can’t wait to disprove it.” -Cary Grant
  • “Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful—provided you get between the right man and the right woman.” -Woody Allen
  • “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.” -Mae West
  • “A nymphomaniac is a women as obsessed with sex as the average man.” -Mignon McLaughlin
  • “You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman—stuff you pay good money for in later life.” -Emo Philips
  • “I am always looking for meaningful one night stands.” -Dudley Moore
  • “Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it’s a pretty good one.” -Woody Allen
  • “Isn’t it interesting how the sounds are the same for an awful nightmare and great sex?” -Rue McClanahan
  •  ”To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.” -Don Schrader
  • “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” -Billy Crystal
  • “The reason people sweat is so they won’t catch fire when making love.” -Don Rose
  • See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time -Robin Williams
  • According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful -Robert De Niro
  • You know “that look” women get when they want sex? Me neither -Steve Martin
  • If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time -Louise Sammons
  • I think I could fall madly in bed with you
  • Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time
  • You have some kinky devils on your site… never had a woman wanting me to drip hot wax over her nipples before

In honour of saving the best for last, many swingers have their own famous quote: “We are not Ken and Barbie and don’t expect you to be either”, we present a final sexy quote in their honour:

“Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.” -Sophia Loren